I’m so frustrated with my body this morning. I’ve been sick all week, so rather than getting in the pool (chlorine makes me sneeze extra bad) I decided to do a cardio combo at the gym. First up, I did 25 minutes on the step machine which was a great sweaty warm up. Next, I jumped on the treadmill hoping to run a 5K, but my hip just isn’t going to give me a break. The first mile was painful, but I was hoping it was just my hip loosening up. At 1.2 miles, I decided to call it quits. Each step felt like someone was stabbing me with a huge needle and my hip just felt so weak. Rather than do serious damage, I got off the treadmill and finished up with 20 minutes of hard intervals on the stationary bike.
Overall, I got a great workout, but I am just so frustrated. When I started running a few months ago the hardest part was working up the endurance to run distances over 3 miles. Now, I am perfectly capable of running 8 miles in a go, but my body isn’t complying. The fitness is there, but the muscle just doesn’t want to do it. I’m thinking of going to see a chiropractor or physical therapist about this because not only does it really hurt to run, the adjustments I’m making to lessen the pain are making my stride incredibly unnatural. As a result, my back hurts, my ankle was locked up last week and I can tell that I’m wasting energy trying to run “normal”. Perhaps this is something that can be fixed easily with some specialized stretching; perhaps its a real injury that I should have taken care of long ago. The only thing thats holding me back is my own stupid pride and self esteem. I don’t think of myself as a runner. I’m an athlete- thats also been one of my self-descriptors- but I’ve never seen myself as a runner. Hell, I can barely run more than 20 miles per week. Real runners run 120 miles a week! (Or so I thought) I don’t want to walk into a doctor’s office and say “I’m a runner and I would like you to help me with this injury” if the doctor then asks about my fitness routine and finds out that I’m barely a recreational runner. I don’t want someone to feel like I am wasting their time. They could be helping real runners who are training for marathons, etc, not this stupid girl who wants to run a 10K!
I’m not sure what to do and I don’t have any answers for what I want to hear. I’m just frustrated and annoyed because I know I’m capable of so much more….